How to make friends (for socially spoilt people like myself)

Alone in a new place with no friends? Take a look at how I deal with this problem in Moscow...

Same time last year - Hangzhou, China - July 2012 - a small part of  all the incredibe people I had the pleasure to be with !

One thing I have definitely learnt about myself in Russia, is that I am socially spoilt.

I have always claimed that I embark on my adventures alone - going to far away lands by myself, starting new schools, new  places, new jobs. While it might be true that I do things independently, it doesn't mean that I have ever been truly alone.

Wherever I go, I have always been surrounded by people. At University I have always shared houses, befriended coursemates, enrolled introduction programmes, joined all possible societies from Assassins to Debating, met people at work, at parties and so on and so on. Can I please go back to when I had 12 dates a day, multiple parties to choose from and great bike rides? In fact, going back even further, for crying out loud - I have 5 siblings, I have never been alone! Oh, this rich social life really has spoilt me. 

Now? I am embarrassed to tell my friends back home that I don't really have anyone to go to the cinema with. What I would get most of the time is - 'You, of all people!' 'I don't believe it!', 'Whitney, how is it possible?!' and 'Don't exaggerate' .

Oh, I wish I was. The fact is, when you do move to a new country and you are not there because of studies, when your only housemate is slightly anti-social, when most of your work colleagues are over 40 - life gets a little bit more complicated. And socially spoilt people like me have to start making friends some other way. My four friendless weeks in Moscow have taught me how..

1. The housemate(s). Befriend and start a hobby together (like running or a book club). Don't have a housemate? Try the upstairs/downstairs neighbour, the security guard, the cleaning lady. 

If all that fails, befriend the neighbourhood cat. You got the idea.

2. The colleagues. Firstly, you have to get over the paranoia (grounded in reality or not) that they hate you.  Find something in common. Drop subtle hints that you don't know the city, ask for tips. Hope they invite you places. They still don't? Ask where they go to the hairdressers/ theatre/gym/ swimming-pool/ etc and hope they invite you to join. Smile, try to be less weird than usual.

3. The alternatives: 

 - Join all possible groups on Facebook that organize events in that city. 

 - Join Couchsurfing. You don't need to host anyone, as many are happy to simply hang out with you.       

 - Join interest groups / language exchange / local sports teams

If all fails, screw real-life friends and organize a huge skype chat with tens of people for your birthday.